Ok, democracy isn't actually over because Trump won — that was just to scare you!

By Mike Reid | January 2025

To be honest, I really didn't care for Joe Biden's presidency.

Yes, the beginning was ok, during the first half of 2021, when a lot of people got vaccinated and the CDC declared nobody needed to wear masks indoors once you were vaccinated.

And then things went downhill fast.

Inflation became a major problem.

The Afghanistan withdrawal was a global embarrassment.

The pandemic came back — big time.

And Democrats obviously did not Build Back Better.

And then Democrats lost the House in the 2022 midterms, which clearly meant we weren't going to get anything done after that.

And then Joe Biden — who only barely won in 2020 because he winked and reassured us all behind the scenes that he would only serve one term — announced he was running for a second term.

And then Joe and his team proceeded to run the most lackluster campaign I've ever seen.

But nobody stopped him. For 15 painful months nobody stopped Joe's obviously failing campaign — while poll after god damn poll showed quite clearly even Democrats weren't into it — until Joe looked senile for 2 hours on TV in front of 51 million people and even then it took almost a month for him to drop out of the race.

What happened??? Come on people. In 2021, Joe Biden stepping into power with the promise of transformation. A $7 trillion Build Back Better Bill, Bernie Sanders suggested. Progressives held the line, vowing no infrastructure bill without it, and for a moment, it felt like things might actually change. But then it all unraveled. Joe Biden, with decades of Senate experience, forgot that he needed every single Democrat on board. Joe Manchin stalled. Sinema wavered. Build Back Better died. The Afghanistan withdrawal spiraled into chaos. Inflation crushed millions. COVID variants hit hard and fast. And what did the Democrats say? “Nothing to see here. This is all going exactly according to plan." And yes, everyone knew that Joe Biden was disqualifying old to run for a second term — that's why he promised he'd only serve one term. But then, with very little fanfare, in April 2023 Joe accidentally announced he was running for a second term and nobody stopped him. For 15 months, nobody stopped him. So now that I have explained to you why the voters chose Trump to be president again, will you donate between $1 and $500,000?
‍

But maybe — just maybe — Donald Trump isn't quite as bad as we think he is? Maybe we don't need to fear a second Trump term as much as we fear we do?

Maybe the next four years will be.... better than the last four?

Maybe, oh god, Trump will even be seen by future historians as a better president than Joe Biden? Call me crazy, but that's exactly what we should all be hoping for at this point, right?

AI? Seriously, are you really just going to keep ignoring it? When are you planning to catch up? Next year? Five years from now? Because AI is already everywhere, and it’s not just one tool. You’ve got voice AI, image creation AI, image upscaling, and now game-changing advancements like video AI that will redefine everything have just arrived. The future is here, and 2025 is going to be the wild west when it comes to AI — it's about to disrupt everything, and no, it’s not going to be neatly regulated, now is it? So, um, can you please donate between $1 or $500,000??
‍

And honestly, at this point I can't even remember if it was Donald Trump or a senile Joe Biden who recommended drinking bleach to treat coronavirus, can you?

Oh, it was Trump. Ok. If you say so.

But if you're a Kamala Harris voter living in a blue state, what can you even do right now to improve our political reality, anyway?

You're just one person — and you've got a lot going on in your own life right now, no doubt?

You can't just drop everything, can you? Can you???

And you voted for Kamala, right?

Your vote was the glorious icing on the cake of those 54 electoral votes from California, or those 28 electoral votes from New York, or maybe even those three electoral votes from DC?

It was those other Americans, those confused souls living in Georgia, and Pennsylvania, and Michigan, and Wisconsin, and Arizona, and Nevada, and even North Carolina who voted for Joe Biden in 2020 but then soured on the Democrats and either voted for Trump in 2024 or didn't vote at all.

Those are the people we should blame, right?

But in any event — regardless of who we should blame — what can an everyday blue American like you do about politics now?

So what do you do now, you ask? Here's what you should do: Drop everything and attend Muggle Academy — the world’s first and only school of political witchcraft and wizardry!! Or, step up as one of its very first leaders!!! Because Democrats need to create bold, fresh approaches to politics, and we've got to do it fast. So do you have two weeks (or more) to spare?? Then join us immediately. Or, if you can’t get away, will you please make an immediate donation to support our scholarship fund? Whether it’s $1 or even $500,000, every donation is crucial to the future of American democracy — and obviously that's pretty important to you, isn't it?
‍

Ok, I get it! I really do. Your state voted for Kamala Harris! And maybe you even made one or more donations to her campaign?

Kamala Harris' campaign raised over $1 billion, and then went on to lose all seven swing states and the popular vote — the first Democrat to lose the popular vote since John Kerry in 2004.
‍
And where exactly did all that money go, you ask?

Well, a lot of the money went to pay for TV commercials that aired 24/7 in swing states — but they obviously weren't effective, given the Democrats lost in all seven swing states.

So here's an idea: What if the Democrats stopped spending so much god damn money on TV ads and started spending a wee bit more of our vast financial resources to create good paying jobs that brought a breath of fresh air into our political discourse?

Ok, so what I’m going to is combine everything I know from 15+ years in political fundraising with everything I know from my experience in creating original live theater — yes, I’ve done that too — to creating something that’s never been done before: a theater dedicated to bridging our political divides. We’ll start by staging shows in underused venues, and once we’ve built momentum, we'll create our own black box theater, a hub for biting, unfiltered commentary that shakes things up in a way this great country has never seen. And then we'll take this show on the road, spreading the humor nationwide. So donate now — whether it’s $1 or $500,000.
‍

And here's another crazy idea: What if the Dems starting doing things that appealed to Republicans? Yes, even to Trump voters.

After all, there's another popularity contest fast approaching in 2026, and then another big one in 2028, so we should probably start learning more about the third of the country that voted for Trump — along with the third that didn't vote at all.

Why didn't these people realize that democracy would be over unless they voted for Kamala Harris? And why didn't these people understand that the economy was strong because Paul Krugman said it was?? And also, what is up with all these people testifying in front of Congress that they believe in aliens and UFOs???

Are all these UFO people crazy? All of them?? 100% of them???

These are just a few of the questions that we must seek answers to, and there isn't a moment to waste — so let's get going!

Alright, let's recap. We’ve got the theater rolling, we’ve got a lineup of ridiculously talented performers, so why not take this whole operation to the streets? Imagine this: instead of political protests being these grim, angry affairs that just turn people off, what if they made you laugh? What if they actually changed minds? Picture walking up and down DC's National Mall, stumbling on these smart, sharp, hilarious outdoor performances, staged by — yes — the Democrats. And then, imagine going back to your red state and telling your friends, “You know, I met some Democrats in DC. They’re not perfect, but they’re not as bad as I thought.” Wouldn’t that shift the narrative even just a little? So let’s stop wasting time and make it happen. Whether you can throw down $1 or $500,000, donate now!
‍

And here's another important question that we should probably start working on sooner rather than later: Who exactly are the future leaders of the Democratic Party?

I mean, it can't be Nancy Pelosi, who for whatever reason is still hanging around Congress like a parent who dropped her child off at college but won't leave.

And to be honest, I've lost faith in Chuck Schumer, who still uses a flip phone and doesn't seem like he knows much about either AI or how to keep a Democratic majority in the Senate.

And then there's Hakeem Jeffries — but it doesn't seem like he's allowed to say anything publicly that Pelosi hasn't preapproved?

I'll be honest: During the Biden Years I got pretty sick and tired of walking through DC like it was a field of broken glass. Literally. So here’s the plan. Let’s create good-paying jobs at $50 an hour, let’s throw street parties with music, and let’s clean up the damn capital of America. DC isn’t that big — and once it’s sparkling, we’ll take this show on the road and transform cities and towns across America. People will say, “Holy shit, the Democrats finally stopped blowing all their money on dumb TV ads,” and even Paul Krugman will chime in, “Turns out it was that all the jobs sucked. But now, Democrats are creating jobs that don’t suck. This is way better.” And — whether it’s $1 or $500,000 — it’ll all be because of your donation that kicked this into motion. You’ll be a hero, the Democrats will be heroes, and America will have a lot less broken glass on its streets. So thank you for donating.
‍

But here's the happy truth about politics in America: We're not designed to have political royalty. We not designed for leaders to stay in power indefinitely, despite their unpopularity.

Our system tends to remove these leaders from power, such as when an unpopular (and then obviously senile) Joe Biden was forced to suspend his failing 2024 campaign and then his vice president went on to lose because she was in the room where it happened the whole god damn time, obviously, and the voters actually aren't that dumb, are they?

But now we have an opportunity for new leaders to step up. Now is the time for everyday citizens to get involved and lead America to a better place than we've ever been to before.

And there's really no time to waste! So what are you waiting for?